What I call Halloween fireworks, the police call arson.
How to kill a joke dead in its tracks.
The invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at.
Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
Two men walking home decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. They were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise and found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
“You scared us half to death!” one shouted. “We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing out here so late at night?”
“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might. If they screamed all the time for no good reason.
While eating a circus clown, one cannibal remarks to the other, “Does he taste funny to you?”